Serve, Trust, and Wait

God is so good!!! Ok, I totally think that that phrase is overused. But if you really think about it, there is no way that you can think otherwise.

We are so insignificant. Not only are our towns big, but our states, country, universe, galaxy and beyond is huge! We are so small compared to those things. And then imagine us compared to an ant. Those are even smaller. Now think about an individual cell. Or our DNA. Those things are tiny. But you know what? God cares about every single thing. He made every single thing. Every strand of DNA, every ant, every mountain, every planet, every sun, every galaxy. And He made us. And you know what? He cares about each of us on a personal level. There have been billions and billions of people in this world, but God knows the very working of our hearts. He knows that our sicknesses are no fun, He cares about our schooling, He plans out what job He has for us, He loves each and every one of us. Isn’t God good?!

I think that we forget about the magnitude of God. We don’t fear Him like we should, and I think that has to do with us just acting like God is our pal. He is our best friend, but He is also the creator of every cell, the God who controls the storms, the God who knows the past, present, and future all at the same time, the God who works in each of our hearts and lives, and the God who hears the cries of those in persecution and at the same time He hears the cry of the woman in labor and at the same time He hears the cry of the man who is grieving the loss of his son. God is amazing. God is freaking amazing! He is God! We should always remember that.

God knows each and every one of us. He knows us so intimately. God is so big and we are so small, yet He still cares for us. God loves us so much that He gave us free choice. Have you thought of that? He totally could have made us like robots; where we had to love Him. But where is the true love in that? Instead He gave us the choice. He gave us free will. How much love does it take to let your child turn away from you and not pull them back because you gave them a choice and they choose to leave? God doesn’t force us to love Him. He wants us to, but true love is giving people the free will to do so. Thousands of people turn from God. Spit on Him. Hate Him. Call Him nasty things. Spread lies about Him. Disregard Him. Slander Him. But He still loves. WE were the ones that nailed Christ to the cross. WE were the people who were spitting on Him. WE were the ones who called Him names. And WE were the ones that killed Him. He knew we would, but He came anyway. Because He LOVES us. Love. Love. Love. Love is a powerful thing. It would have been easy for God to make us love Him. But He wanted genuine love. He wanted a people that would CHOOSE to follow Him. That’s why He gives us the choice.

God is so good. And He cares so much. We fail Him daily, but He never leaves us. THAT is true love: still loving even when the other person turns their back and stops listening all together. If you were talking to someone and they disregarded everything you said and stopped listening to you all together, would you keep talking? No. No, you wouldn’t. Sometimes we wonder where God is, but have we been shutting Him out that He just stopped talking? Maybe He isn’t to blame, but we are…

A little over a week ago a friend and I skipped church because we felt God was leading us to take that time and just sit and talk with Him. So we went into one of the buildings on campus, made our way to separate ends of the room, and just sat alone with God. For like 25 minutes I was just blabbing away praying things like “Ok, God, speak to me now!” and “What do you want me to do?” After a while of this I could hear God just say to me “Shut up, and open My Word.” I was confused, I thought God wanted to talk with me, not just have me read scripture. But again, I could hear Him say, “Read My Word.” So I did. I have no idea what book ended up going to, I had no idea what verse had stood out to me, but God shut me up and made something stand out in the passage I was reading. So I started journaling. I was writing away and I could hear God talking to me. I was writing and writing and God was speaking to me. (Now, I must clear something up: Ever since the Spring Break Missions trip I felt like God has been calling me to use my writing for ministry. I didn’t know to what extent, but I just felt this leading.) Anyway, as I was writing I just kept asking God, “What do you want me to do now?” (In regards to my writing). And He wasn’t answering my question! So I kept asking, and kept asking “What do I do!” I was getting frustrated until I heard His small voice say, “You’re asking the wrong thing.” That made me finally shut up and just listen. This is what God told me: He said He knew that I wanted to use my writing for ministry. He understood, but instead of telling me how, one word just kept coming to my mind.

Wait.

Just wait. He didn’t want me to DO anything right now, except wait. He confirmed that I am in the right major, and at the right school, but He wasn’t going to reveal what exactly He was going to do with me. He wanted me to serve, trust, and wait.

It was reassuring to me that He calmed my fears about being in the wrong major, or maybe at the wrong school, or doing the wrong thing, and He just told me, “Child, I know you don’t know what I have in store for you, but that is ok. I have started a great work in you, but you have to trust Me that I will finish it in My time. Take it day by day. Serve Me every day, keep fighting the good fight, wait, trust, and be patient because I will use you to do great things.”

He revealed Himself to me in that moment. When I finally stopped doing all the talking and let Him have a say, that’s when He told me what He knew I needed to hear.

Serve, trust, and wait.

It’s so easy for me to put other things in front of God: Relationships, friends, family, school, tests, homework, responsibilities, worry, fear, doubt…But I can honestly say that at this moment God is all that I need. I know that I will waver on that. I will go back and forth between trusting Him fully and getting my fulfillment elsewhere, but I know that He will always be by my side.

God works in mysterious ways. Tonight our hall had a Bible study and I really didn’t want to go. I wasn’t going to go until two girls came into my room and asked if I wanted to come. I realized I had absolutely no excuse not to. So I went. And we talked about everything I have typed here. God knew I needed to go. God knew I was putting things before Him, that I didn’t have the right fear of Him, that I was looking to other people to fulfill me and make me feel wanted, that I wasn’t living fully for Him. But God is all that I need.

He sees me and everything that I do, but loves me anyway. He knows how I fail, but still cares enough about me to know me intimately. He loves me enough to always be there, even when I am shutting Him out.

God is awesome. And He is so good, I can’t say it enough.

So if you need me, I will be here. Waiting on God, trying to serving Him, and doing my best to trusting that He has a bigger and better plan for my life, better than I could even imagine.

So if you are ever feeling that God isn’t there, maybe you just need to shut up and let Him talk. If you do, I promise you: He will reveal Himself.

God is good.